You're my Only Friend
by Inoue Ayumi
Summary: Xiahou Dun & Cao Cao are best friends. But to Cao Cao, also the only real friend he has. Their friendship continues to bloom, but what happens when misunderstanding comes along? Death in final chapters. Not historically accurate and not yaoi. -on hiatus-
1. Remember?

Wheeeeee~ This is my first fanfic ever. ^w^ Please forgive me if I make too much of one mistake!

Note:**  
NOT HISTORICALLY ACCURATE.**  
And no, it's not yaoi.

Start Chapter!

* * *

Xiahou Dun looked out of the window in his room. Today was Lord Cao Cao's 28th birthday. He knew that Cao Cao would emerge from his door in 3.. 2..

1..

BANG! With a look of satisfaction, Cao Cao exclaimed, "I made it just in time!" He was dressed in a blue robe with intricate designs of gold snakes. He also had a dark blue cape behind him. It was a tradition for Cao Cao and Xiahou Dun to meet in each others' rooms an hour before their birthdays.

"Dun, I'm turning 28 today! Isn't that great?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah.. It sure is." Dun replied. He wasn't paying full attention to his excited best friend. Instead, he was thinking of something else..

_I wonder if he will like it.. It's strange, and Cao Cao doesn't seem like the type who likes to sit back and enjoy the walk down memory lane. He's more focused on the future. He truly is an ambitious man. Will he like my gift-_

"Dun, what's the matter? You should be happy for me!"

"It's just.. remember how we met?"

* * *

_Cao Cao was only 6 years old then. He was sitting under a tree in a clearing in the middle of a forest, looking depressed. He wore a dark blue robe with intricate gold patterns on it. His brown eyes were misted over with tears._

"Why can't I have a real friend like everyone else? Things have been fine- no, excellent at the start.. I had riches and everything else a boy could want. But a friend? No. All those kids of wealthy people who visit my father are only befriending me for my money. So what about it? And why the heck am I like this? I used to be okay with things and don't care about things like love and friendship. Sigh.. maybe, just maybe, I'm beginning to notice how lonely _I am.."_

_A few metres away from the forest clearing___

A boy with short and messy black hair, clad in simple clothing, was holding a bag of mantou and looked around for a good spot to sit. He saw the clearing in the middle of the forest and immediately ran to it, eager to savour the delicious taste of his mantou.

Cao Cao looked up to the sound of running feet against the sakura petals. There he saw a stunningly handsome boy around his age standing beside him - his brown eyes were shining with playfulness, his lips curving slightly upwards and his height a few centimetres taller than him.

Xiahou Dun felt eyes looking at him, and gave a slight yelp when he saw Cao Cao perched on the ground staring at him.

Not one to turn another down, Dun attempted to make small talk with him. "Hi, I'm Xiahou Dun. What's your name?"

Cao looked a bit startled at the sudden attempt at a conversation. Nevertheless, he nervously replied, "Hi. I'm Cao Cao."

Dun gasped as the name flew out of the other boy's lips. He exclaimed, "You're Cao Cao? THE Cao Cao? The boy who many kids are talking about? Wow! I'm sorry, I forgot my manners and-"

"Calm down, ..Dun. Being Cao Cao isn't a big deal at all. In fact, it's starting to get boring.." He sighed.

Dun sensed the loneliness of his new found friend. It isn't fun at all being lonely.. Sure, Dun had friends thanks to his generosity, but his friends only play with him every now and then. He wanted someone he can spend time everyday with!

"I'm so sorry to hear you being lonely. So.. may I join you in.. whatever you're doing?"

Cao only nodded and scooted over to give space for his new friend to sit. The delicious aroma of the mantou were making his mouth water.

Once again, Dun startled him with another question. "I bet you're hungry. Want some food? I've got mantou."

"Is he a mind reader too?" Cao thought.

Suddenly, Cao realised that he was being dumb. There was nothing to be nervous about! Why, he's finally making his first friend ever! And fortunately for him, Dun doesn't look like a money-faced boy.

"Sure, I'd like some!" He smiled.

..

Hours passed by and the two were chatting with each other. On that day, Cao Cao couldn't possibly be happier.

* * *

"Yeah, I remember. What about it?" Cao inquired.

"It was a special memory, wasn't it?" Dun asked.

"Not only that, Dun, it was _my favourite memory of all._"

"Really? Then it makes it even more special.."

"Makes what more special? Dun, are you sick or something?"

Ignoring his cousin's ridiculous question, Xiahou Dun opened Cao Cao's hand and placed a sakura petal on his palm.

"A piece of special memory. _**Happy birthday, Cao Cao.**_"

* * *

Aaaaaaaaaaaah~ I've completed the first chapter of my first fanfiction on my first day on this website! How was it? If there's anything wrong, please don't be so harsh. D: Anyway, DO YOU LIKE IT? 8D Review, please!


	2. The Xiahous

Thanks for the reviews! I'm sorry if this is a little late. Too much stuff.

Today is my birthday, 10 January! 8D

Something terrible happened though. My friends stopped wanting to become friends with me anymore, all because I had to go home the day they had a surprise party planned for me! I was really hoping they'd understand.. I cried and screamed my heart out just a few minutes ago when they posted it on their blogs. What did I do wrong? Reviewers, please help!

OMG I'm so sorry I kept you waiting! Without further ado, here's chapter 2!

* * *

Cao Cao tossed and turned, yet he couldn't sleep. _'Ugh, maybe I'll go for a walk_.._'_

He went down to the palace garden. It was a moonlit night, and the huge pond in the middle on the garden was beautiful, showing the moon's beauty to everyone who passes. Scattered on the water were some water lilies, gracefully floating. Flowers planted on the sides of every path and in bushes, all in different colours. A few stone benches were placed here and there, and just as Cao was about to sit on one, there was a large splash, followed by a groan.

_'What the duck was that?'_ He rushed to the direction of the noise, which led him to the huge pond. It sounds like someone had fell into it. It wasn't a soldier or a guard. It was..

"Xiahou Yuan?! What are you doing down there?"

Xiahou Yuan looked up to the oh-so-familiar voice winced at the sight of Cao Cao glaring at him. He certainly wasn't expecting his lord to be awake at a time like this.

"Well? Aren't you going to tell me?" Cao demanded.

"Heh.. I couldn't sleep, so I went into the palace garden for a short walk."

Cao Cao's glare immediately changed into a look of annoyance. "Well, that wasn't so hard now, was it?"

"What are YOU doing here, Lord Cao Cao?"

"The same reason why you came here, excluding the falling part." He simply shrugged, and continued. "I heard a splash, and here you are, in the pond, growling in annoyance at me. What's that look for?"

"Geez, I wonder how many questions you asked today." Yuan grumbled.

"I heard that! Now tell me what the duck you're doing down there!"

"What else does it look like? I fell! What other things do I want to do down here? Bathe?" Yuan cried.

"Knowing you, maybe! Hmph!"

Cao Cao spun around and began to stomp back to his quarters. _'Meh. Might as well go back and try to open acess to Dreamland.'_

Xiahou Yuan - who was still in the pond - noticed him stomping away and ran after him. "Wait, Lord Cao Cao! Did I offend you?"

"Oh, you wish you hadn't!" Cao yelled, without even turning to face him.

Once back in the palace, he grumbled "Man that Xiahou Yuan. How dare he use sarcasm on _me_?"

"What did he do this time, cousin?" asked a familiar calm voice behind him.

"Huh? Oh, Dun! Why aren't you sleeping?" He didn't notice him when he entered the palace.

"Your argument could have woken up the whole palace, you know.."

"What! That's impossible! How could I, Cao Cao-"

"-woken me up?" Dun interrupted.

"Oh man.. you Xiahous always win these petty arguments! I'm going to bed!"

"Petty? I wouldn't even call it an argument in the first place!"

"Oh now you listen here you - oh wait! Don't bother replying, Cao Cao! He'll just _shoot_ a reply back and then you're wrong! AGAIN!"

"Frankly, I can' think of any come back to that.."

"DUUUUUN~!" Cao clamored.

Xiahou Dun chuckled. "Oh well, good night cousin."

"Well, I can't be angry at you, right? For some reason I don't know. Sleep well, Dun."

"Maybe later.. I've got a bad feeling something is going to happen."

"It's just a feeling, right? Maybe some sleep will do you good."

Dun only nodded and went to his quarters. Cao Cao, on the other hand, watched his retreating back before finally going to his own.

"I wonder what's Dun thinking of?"

Suddenly, he heard another loud splash, then an annoyed yell that sounded like Xiahou Yuan.

"Sheesh, can't a guy get some SLEEP?"

* * *

Done! How was it? :D

Ooooh~ What could be the bad thingy Dun has a bad feeling of? And can Cao Cao finally sleep? Well, duh. Of course he can! He's Cao Cao, for goodness sake! He has a VIP card to dreamland! Only thing is, he forgot he has it.


	3. The Arrow

So sorry for the late update. School is ruining my chances of writing.

Like, srsly.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes! ^^

Xiahou Dun obsession! The Star Wars addiction is over. For now.

Disclaimer: Oh you know I don't own them. It's in the summary! (and if I owned them, I'd make Xiahou Dun the main guy.)

**IT'S OOC, PEOPLE! **Deal with it.

_"Besides.. when it comes to my cousin, who could understand his convoluted dreams?"__  
__~ Xiahou Dun (DW6)_

* * *

Sunlight peeped through the curtains of Cao Cao's bedroom. He had trouble sleeping last night but was now deep in his sleep, when someone knocked furiously on his door.

"Lord Cao Cao! Come quick, something BIIIIG happened!"

Cao cracked an eye open and grumbled at the voice of Xu Zhu. "There goes my sleep," he muttered.

He stood up and opened his door. Xu Zhu was pointing to his right of the hallway, stuttering, "X-Xiahou Dun! He was wounded!"

"He was WHAT?!" Cao rushed to where his instincts led him, Xu Zhu following behind.

"Lord Cao Cao, turn to your left!" he cried when Cao was going straight.

"I knew that!" he barked and took a 90° turn left. Right at the moment he disappeared at the sharp corner, he crashed into someone, falling to the ground.

"Oh, my lord! Are you alright?" asked a worried voice. After rubbing his head and cursing a few times, he looked up and found himself staring right into Zhang He's eyes.

"Oh uh, yeah, I'm okay. Where's Xiahou Dun?"

"Dun? Oh, he's alright. He's in the garden right now. He was shot in his left arm by an arrow with a letter tied to its tail." He explained.

That made Cao stand up almost instantly. Without a word, he rushed to the luxurious palace garden, where he saw his cousin gazing at his reflection in the pond. (A/N: Hehe.. the pond where Yuan fell in!)

"Dun!" Xiahou Dun turned around to see Cao Cao running up to him breathlessly.

"Dun.. what happened? I heard about the arrow and your arm and the arrow!" he cried.

"Cousin, relax. My arm is fine. Just a little wound, that's all." Dun calmly explained.

"Just a little?! You are my right hand man, one of my best generals, my best friend and my cousin! How can I not be worried when you have _your arm bandaged up_?!"

"What concerns me more is the letter attached to it." He replied as though he didn't hear what Cao Cao just said.

"Letter? What did it say?" Cao asked, intrigued.

"You might want to read it for yourself.." Dun handed him a piece of paper.

_Doesn't that hurt?  
Well, there's more to come.  
That was only the first wave.  
If you know who am I,  
good luck finding me.  
I'm well hidden.  
Be prepared,  
Lord Cao Cao._

Dun ran his hand down his hair, thinking out loud. "That message is directed for my cousin.."

"This is serious. Dun, order everyone to be alert for more waves to come. And I have a feeling I know who this person is.." Cao crumpled the letter in his fist.

"I think I am going to get something to eat now, cousin. You coming?" Dun asked.

"Huh? Oh sure.. Of course! And then maybe we can do something about this letter.." Cao ran to catch up with Dun, who was already walking away.

"Cao Cao, I think you need a rest."

"And why is that?"

"You never do."

"Ugh, yes I do! You just don't realise it. You're too busy thinking." Cao laughed when Dun grumbled at the comeback.

"See, you do win arguments sometimes."

"Oh yeah, I guess I do."

~~~~~~

"Hey, Xiahou Dun! How's your arm now?" Zhang Liao asked in the dining room.

"It's getting better. Do you mind getting our lord to stop worrying about it?" Dun rolled his eyes when Cao protested, "I certainly did not!"

Dun smirked at Liao and they both said in unison, "That's what they all say." Liao snickered.

"Hmph, I have no time for this!" Cao went off to eat at his place.

"It isn't over yet, my lord! We are sitting near you, remember?" Liao called out to him.

"Oh, HOW could I forget!" He sarcastically yelled, without even facing him again.

Turning to Dun, Zhang Liao asked, "When do you think the second wave is coming?"

Liao turned silent when he saw Dun close his eyes.

"Soon. I just.. know it. And it's directed at either the three of us."

* * *

Just how does Dun know all this?!

My fingers are tired. I'm doing my book report at the same time. X.x

Oh well. How was it?


	4. Arguments

**I'm out of ideas.** Brain dead. Whatever you call it. .__.

I know I update late each time (ouch that hurts), but it's school, laziness and out-of-ideas-ness! And besides, I have homework- OMG I HAVE HOMEWORK OH NOES!

Ah well, better get this over with and then I can start on it. D:

**Note:** I don't care if Cao Pi or anyone was already born or not in this period. Or if whoever died already. Besides, you don't know the timeline here because there IS no timeline! So there.

NOTE-NOTE: This chapter has less dialogue, simply because it's the feelings of people. (:

* * *

Cao Pi sipped his tea from his seat in the palace gardens as he watched a man enter the palace. He fixed his eyes on the books the man brought. What surprised him was the person who led him up the stairs. Could the blind Xiahou be plotting something?

Pi crept up to Dun's quarters and watched closely at every action the two made. He couldn't make out a single possibility on what Dun could supposedly be planning. You can never be too sure with a mysterious guy like him in Wei.

To Pi's surprise, Uncle Dun seemed to be learning! How could he be studying amidst a time of war? Unfortunately for Pi, he had no chance to ponder over it as Dun's sharp senses kicked into motion and spotted a certain prince peeking at him outside.

Cao Pi gulped as Xiahou Dun towered over him menacingly. However, he managed to whip up an evil idea with his quick thinking mind. "Uncle Dun, if you do anything to me, I'll tell my father you were plotting to get me exiled!"

Dun was taken aback by the young man's blackmail. He could not reprimand him for invading his privacy; his cousin's trust in him would drop immensely! But on the other hand, if he does nothing, Pi might do this to harm others again. With nothing else to choose, he slammed the door in Cao Pi's face.

The prince of Wei smirked as he pushed back a stray strand of hair from his face. How can he not resist telling his father? It would gain him praises for having a sharp sense of hearing and being able to banish all those who are disloyal to Wei even if they are related. He'd gain more respect from everyone _especially _his father.

All the little prince wanted since young was his father to notice him. Nothing ever mattered when he turned eight years old; before that, Father always paid attention to him day and night without fail. Now, it's as if he never _existed_. Father only came to him in times of crisis, and that only happens once in a blue moon with Xiahou Dun around.

Cao Pi clenched his fists in anger. What ever happened to father-son nights, walks and trips outside the palace? Father now only thinks of him as a grown-up. _Why, I'm just 17! How long has Father been ignoring me and giving his attention to that man?_

"I hate him.."

".. he must DIE!" Sima Yi yelled as he threw a book against the wall. He seethed with anger; his hatred bottled within him.

All his plans, strategies and ideas are always Cao Cao's _second_ priority! That Xiahou Dun has to come first. Just what is so good with that guy? He ate his eye. So what? Anyone can do that! Just poke your eye, pull it out, say something dramatic and swallow it! He has no quality. He is vulnerable. And he is definitely _not_ intelligent!

He has that mysterious aura around him whenever he passed by. _Am I the only sane one around here who thinks Dun must be exiled?_

"There must be a way.. I think I am going to check up on that dumb lord now."

At the same time, Cao Pi was heading to his father's throne room. He decided to tell his father anyway; Xiahou Dun has snatched away the TLC* in his life for nine years!

He pushed open the engraved doors and stomped up to his father who was sitting on his throne, talking to Zhang Liao.

"Father, all this while you've been _blinded _by that blind Xiahou!" Pi yelled at his father, trying to show as much anger as possible.

"What! How _dare_ you insult him!" Cao barked at his son.

"You wouldn't even care if I was the one insulted, now would you?" Suddenly, pretending to show anger wasn't even needed anymore. He _was _angry. He was _desperate_, desperate for the supposed showers of love he should be receiving. He wanted his father to love him, not to ignore him as if he was a peasant. At this point, even Zhang He would be a better parent than him.

Cao Cao was taken aback by his son's words and more importantly, **his tears**. For the first time in eight years, Cao Pi, prince of Wei, cried. He never felt so sad before. Was the situation this bad to make a MAN like him cry?

"Cao Pi, what is the matter with you?"

"Well why don't you ask yourself what is wrong with you! You never pay attention to me! For nine years, I had to play all by myself. I had to watch you talk to Uncle Dun from afar, wishing it was ME in his place! Do you think that I'm too grown-up to have your attention? Your love? You don't even bother to treat me like your son anymore!" Pi burst out, tears collecting in his eyes and spilling out.

"Just what is it that you want from me now?" Deep inside, Cao was shaking. He never knew his son has been desperate for his love all this while. But he couldn't back down so easily. He's Cao Cao for goodness' sake! He has ambition and pride! He can't show fear.. or can he?

"I heard Xiahou Dun plotting something with a man in his room just now. I could see maps and lists and I heard the man saying something about getting me exiled!" Behind the tears, Pi smirked slightly. He may be sad, but his plan had been launched.

"WHAT?! How can this be? Are you sure you heard right?!" He stood up from his throne, enraged.

"Oh, you won't even trust your own son anymore?" It seems like calling for love as a son can come in handy as a tool sometimes.

The lord of Wei shook with anger. Can Dun possibly be plotting that? How _could_ he!

Zhang Liao, who was watching this silently, knew that Cao Cao was slowly falling into the trap. His lord may know Xiahou Dun best, but at this time, it's like he just knows him as an officer. When it comes to trickery and lies, he doesn't seem to be able to notice them. Thank goodness Liao was next in line to the people Dun most talked to. It seemed like the right time to back up for his friend, because it's obvious Cao is going to **get Dun exiled**.

"My lord! Forgive me for interrupting, but surely you are not going to let Xiahou Dun be exiled, are you?" he spoke up.

Pi glared daggers at Liao for trying to clear his uncle's name. There has to be something he can say to make his father believe him!

Cao Cao just shot an angry look at Liao and expected him to say something further. No one detests his opinions without a valid explanation!

"Dun is your cousin! Surely you have to think about that!"

"Nonsense! We Caos are fair. We are to banish those who distort our name from the palace grounds, regardless of relations!" Pi interrupted. The tears have stopped flowing; now it's just pure anger battling.

"But is getting your right-hand man into exile even fair? Who is good enough to replace him?"

"We can find anyone in town or even within the palace premises!" Pi scoffed.

"But will that person have any experience? It seems to me that you are not considering that, Cao Pi."

"How dare you speak to me like that!"

Liao ignored him and went on talking to Cao Cao. "My lord, only Xiahou Dun knows you best!"

"_I _could be the one who knows him best, being his SON, but the position has been given to someone else now, hasn't it?" muttered Cao Pi.

"My lord! He knows what's best for you! You're always happier with him around."

"My father can always be happier if any one of you officers spent more time with him."

"Speak for yourself! You could have made an effort these nine years to actually patch up the gap in your relationship! My lord, this is my final say. **He is your best friend, sir. Would it be the best choice to put your best friend into exile just because of a rumour?**"

That made Cao Cao stop pondering over his choices and stare at Zhang Liao. He was right, but he left out one point.

"He was also.. my only real friend since young."

"Father, are you saying that the officers and I aren't your friends?"

"No, I'm saying that he was the one who made our friendship come alive. It wasn't until a few months later I knew he was my cousin.."

"But are we your friends, my lord?" Zhang Liao questioned.

"Yes, you all are.. Perhaps, it is just him who is the one who knows me in and out."

"Then let me ask you this again, sir. Is it a good choice to put him into exile?"

"I.. I don't know."

"Father, I am the heir to your throne! If you do not rid this palace of disloyal officers then there might not be an heir in the future!" Pi pleaded.

"You are chosen as heir because you're a shrewd, calculating and careful man who is able to feign emotions. You take good advice and being someone careful, you ignore the bad ones. So here's a piece of advice for you. Don't judge the best officers in Wei just because you saw something that might pass as suspicious. You might be getting rid of the people who can help bring Wei to victory!"

"Father, don't listen to this.. frenchy!"

"ENOUGH! I am to decide what I am going to do with my cousin!"

"If I may, sir.. I suggest you give yourself two days to decide. Within this period you are not to kick Dun out or speak anything about this matter to him."

"I find that an excellent idea, Wenyuan. I shall take that. Now both of you, please _leave_."

"Father, I thought after this you'd treat me like your son again!"

"I said, LEAVE!" Cao yelled. Pi scurried to follow Wenyuan, who was already walking towards the door.

Outside the room, a certain strategist smiled maliciously.

* * *

*TLC - Tender Loving Care

OMG THIS STORY ITSELF HAD **1723** WORDS!! *0*

Lol, the strategist is too obvious. Poor Dun! What is to become of him? Evil Cao Pi. You certainly deserve the way Dynasty Warriors 5 and below called you in English, you cow pee you!

Please don't kill me if I had any facts wrong! I haven't taken up History yet.. next year I will! I just wrote down what I heard, okay?

But Cao Pi is handsome in the DW series. xD And the more I read excerpts of the novel, the more I like him!

Review, people! Review and you'll get twenty cookies each!


	5. The First Wave

Well, I hope you readers liked the previous chapter. For me, it's the best I've ever written. Cao Pi's such a baby.

I called Zhang Liao a frenchy. xD

And sorry it took this long for this chapter to come up!

**I don't own DW.** (I'm sorry, Xiahou Dun!)  
This is **not yaoi****.**  
This is **not historically accurate****.  
**And of course, **this is full of OOC****.**

Do you know how HARD it is to write so harshly about Xiahou Dun!? Calling him an 'arrogant jerk' is so painful.

* * *

Cao Cao watched Zhang Liao walk towards the intricately patterned grand doors. Just as he was about to turn the handle, Cao Cao stopped him, "Zhang Liao, come back here."

Liao turned around and went up to the perturbed lord. "What is it, my lord?"

"If you were me, would you kick Xiahou Dun out?" Cao asked, his eyes swimming with worry. He seemed so confused.

"If I were you my lord, I would not, depending on the situation. If Dun was to do something horrible to me then I'd consider exiling him. But in my humble opinion sir, I don't think Xiahou Dun is that sort of person."

"Well.. alright then. Thank you Wenyuan; you may now take your leave." Cao sighed and rubbed his temples.

_-Right on the other side of the doors-_

Cao Pi was yanked at the arm and was led rather forcefully into a dark room. Before he could pull back, he was spun around and confronted face-to-face with the sly smile of Sima Yi.

"Well well well. Looks like I'm not the _only_ sane one around here anymore. Why didn't you tell me before that you hated Xiahou Dun?" Yi smirked, hands clasped behind his back.

"You didn't ask. Besides, why should I tell _you_?" Cao Pi sneered.

"You dimwit, can't you tell that I hate him too?! That arrogant jerk stole the limelight from all of us, especially me! HE had to come first. No one else can. _It's all about him!_" the strategist roared. He pushed a stack of scrolls off his table in anger.

"I'm getting out of here." Pi was unlucky, though. Sima Yi took a step ahead and stepped in front of him; his evil grin visible in the dark.

"Oh no you don't! _You_ are going to stay _here_ helping _me_ get that one-eyed alien exiled!"

"I'm the boss here! I'm higher than you, so when I say no, I mean-"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"-yes!" Pi squeaked.

"Excellent! Now shoo. Go on, shoo!" Yi kicked him out.

"Arrogant brat." Cao Pi gave a hard kick to the door before walking away.

_-Later that afternoon-_

"Sima Yi!" Cao Pi called from a distance in the palace gardens.

"What is it?! Can't you see it's me time now? Sheesh. The only time I can get away from you and you _had_ to come." Yi grumbled.

Pi ignored the remark and continued, "I have an excellent idea on how to get rid of Dun!"

"What is it?"

"I saw Zhang He pouring tea in the other palace garden just now. If we could just convince him that pouring tea over a person's head makes their skin smooth and supple.."

"He'd do it and get himself scalded. That isn't about Dun at all!" Sima Yi interrupted.

"Silence! Then I'd say Xiahou Dun needs one and then.. you know what will happen." Pi smirked.

"Yeah. It would fail. Oh come on, Dun isn't one to like tea poured over his head! The next thing you know, Zhang He would pick a volunteer first, and it'd be ME!" Yi sneered.

"Pffft. Don't be ridiculous. Oh wait, you don't have to. You already are. Anyway, true, no one likes having tea poured over themselves, but Zhang He will be over the moon to be finally saving the so-called 'beauty of Wei'!"

"What a brilliant idea," the strategist rolled his eyes.

"Oh, what would you know? You're dumber than Zhuge Liang. Or the other way around."

"So when are you going to set this 'marvelous' plan of yours to action?"

"Err.. after.. lunch?"

_-After lunch-_

"Zhang Heeeeee! Where are you?!" Cao Pi shouted.

"Over heeere~ What is it, Cao Pi?" Zhang He stopped twirling.

Pi whispered, "I heard that tea makes one's skin smooth and supple. So I was wondering, that Xiahou Dun needs tea poured over his head so that his hair will be.. smooth!"

"Oooh really? Okay! What kind of tea?"

"Any tea is fine! Will you do it?"

Zhang He's eyes sparkled as he agreed.

_-Xiahou Dun's room-_

Zhang He knocked Xiahou Dun's door.

"Enter!" Came Dun's voice from inside.

Zhang He went to the other side of the room to face him.

"Xiahou Dun! Would you like some tea?" He politely asked.

Behind the door frame, Cao Pi face-palmed while Sima Yi stormed inside the room.

"What is WRONG with you, Zhang He?! Don't you understand the meaning of 'pour over his head'?!"

"I didn't understand what Cao Pi tried to say! I thought he meant that I was supposed to serve tea to Xiahou Dun!"

"Argh!" Sima Yi snatched a cup of tea from He's tray and hurled it at Xiahou Dun. He then picked up the teapot and aimed it at Dun's head.

Unfortunately, Yi's aiming was horrible. The cup was hurled in the air and missed Xiahou Dun's head by a centimeter. The aforementioned cup then splashed tea all over the person standing at the door.

"LORD CAO CAO! I am terribly sorry!" Yi apologised profusely to the lord of Wei, who coincidentally was at the door, now drenched in tea.

"_What _is the meaning of this?! Whose bright idea was it to hurl tea at my head?" Cao Cao roared.

Behind him, Cao Pi smiled sheepishly and mouthed, "I tried to stop him."

"I am so sorry! I was.. uh.. uh.. IT WAS ZHANG HE'S FAULT!" Sima Yi shoved the cup into Zhang He's hands, grabbed Cao Pi by the collar and dashed off.

_-in the safety of Cao Pi's chambers-_

"Some marvelous idea! You almost had me killed! Now Xiahou Dun knows that we're both plotting against him! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, YOU NUMB NUT?" Yi yelled.

"Hey, I said I was sorry! If it wasn't for my idea, we wouldn't even have a plan! What's YOUR bright idea then, smarty pants?" Cao Pi sneered.

"I don't know! I'll think about it. Right now, Cao Cao might be boiling mad while cursing me and I don't want to run into him!"

"You are NOT staying in my room. Get out." Pi ordered, pointing to his bedroom's door.

"What? It was your bright idea that got me hiding from your father in the first place!"

"I don't care! I don't want to look gay in front of the officers! Now, get!" Cao Pi pushed Sima Yi out of his room and slammed his door.

"This is all Xiahou Dun's fault. Why, I'm not going to rest until he is exiled!" Yi muttered under his breath.

* * *

Well, that's it! What's Sima Yi's awesome plan to get Xiahou Dun exiled? Watch out for chapter 6!  
Oh, & please review.

**PS:** Sima Yi is NOT gay! He does NOT like Cao Cao. Don't think dirty!


	6. Exile

Once again, no one in this fanfiction is gay, got it? I've had people PMing me asking if I was discreetly writing this fanfiction as yaoi! D:

Well, it's time for the disclaimer & notices:

**I don't own DW****. **(It's a tough world.)  
**Not yaoi****.** (OKAY?!!111oneoneone)  
**Not historically accurate****.  
****Full of OOCness****.**

You've been warned!

I am having trouble trying not to make Xiahou Dun seem 'perfect', but I am failing horribly. **Will someone please help me?** T^T

My friend says I need a betareader. Do I?

_"Give me time, Cousin. I shall bring an end to all this fighting. All of your dreams are destined to come true!"_

_- Xiahou Dun DW6_

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_"Xiahou Dun!" 6-year-old Cao Cao called out._

"Yes, Cao Cao?" replied 6-year-old Xiahou Dun, munching on an apple.

Cao plopped himself down beside Dun. "I need your help. I think I just made a boy cry!" Cao cried.

"What did you do this time?"

"I took his apple."

"Why? There's a lot under these apple trees!"

"He had lots in this basket he was holding!"

Dun slapped his forehead. "Why don't you just apologise to him?"

"You're right! Wow, you sure know what to do every time!"

"No I don't! It's just simple."

"No, you really do know everything!" Cao insisted.

"Well maybe you THINK I do, but I don't."

"Xiahou Dun, _the day you don't know what to do is the day we fight__."_

"I thought you said that we will never fight?"

Cao grinned. "Then you know what I mean!"

Xiahou Dun jerked back to the present. "Now why did I dream of that?"

_-Later-  
_

"My lord? Are you still listening?" Xu Zhu waved his hand in front of Cao Cao's dazed face. Both of them were taking a stroll in the palace gardens, a day after their last battle.

Cao snapped back to reality. "Huh? Oh, um.. Meh. What were you saying?" He had daydreamed while Xu Zhu was telling him about how he had fought off all the soldiers who dared come near him.

"Lord Cao Cao, what did you daydream about?" Xu Zhu asked, his usual bright smile plastered on his face.

"Nothing you need to know," Cao Cao muttered, before fleeing the scene and into the castle.

_-Later Later-_

"Hey Xiahou Dun! Had a good rest?" Cao Cao asked.

"Yes. The last battle was really exhausting," replied Dun, dazed.

"You don't look it," he replied. Xiahou Dun swore he could hear a slight tinge of disappointment in his cousin's voice. Of course, said lord actually wanted to talk to Dun about his recent daydream, but seeing that he was still tired, he might as well wait a while.

"What?" asked the one-eyed man.

"You don't look rested. Get some rest, Dun. You are one of my officers; everyone must be in good shape to battle."

"Yes, my lord."

But while he was walking back to his chambers, he heard muffled voices coming from the other side of his bedroom door.

_"Try the drawers! There's got to be something he's hiding from everyone!"_

"This is stupid. He might be hiding a SECRET, not some hidden eyepatch!" the other person hissed.__

"Whatever. Just help me search! There's bound to be something hidden!"

"Oooh sure. Maybe I'll find a TURKEY."  
  
Dun heard the rummaging of drawers for a while until it stopped.__

"NOW what are you doing to the floor?"

"People always drop things carelessly on the floor. There might be clues!"

"Or dust." The other person replied sarcastically.

The two voices sounded awfully familiar, but who could they belong to?

YOU'REMYONLYFRIEND8D

Cao Pi watched Sima Yi crawl on the floor like a demented worm with a feather fan. They were supposed to find some evidence to prove that Xiahou Dun is - in Sima Yi's words - 'so evil he's evil'. But this way? Pi could think up five better ideas than this. Sima Yi must have knocked his head on a wall.

Suddenly, the door opened. Pi froze in his spot, but sadly his accomplice did not notice the 6'2" tall man who had just entered the room.

"How can I help you?" Dun stood in front of Sima Yi. This was _not _going to look good.

Yi saw two giant boots staring at him. Slowly he looked up, and met the one-eyed general's 'oh-no-you-di'nt' face.

"Oh heeeey, Xiahou Dun! What brings you in here on this fine, fine day? You should really go outside and- and- hey are those new boots? Such nice texture and shine! Heh.." stuttered the strategist. Cao Pi facepalmed while Dun just raised his foot, as if to stomp on the strategist's head.

"Get. Up. And. Get. Out." He threatened through gritted teeth.

"Well, fine. Be that way. It was still Cao Pi's idea in the first place." Yi brushed off Dun's threat as he got up. Meanwhile, Pi made a mental note to kill Sima Yi after they've gotten rid of Dun.

"_'It was still Cao Pi's idea in the first place!'_ Well, poo! It's also my idea in the first place to kill you." Pi grumbled. "You know, if you really have no ideas, why don't you just leave him alone for a while until you've cooked up a grand scheme?"

"Because that, Cao Pi, will take too long," Yi scoffed. The Wei heir swore that Sima Yi's parents must've dropped him on the head while he was a baby.

"Fine, I'll just create my own plan!"

Yi snorted. "You won't succeed without my brains."

"Oh yeah, I sure wouldn't know what to do besides crawling on the floor in search of clues!"

"Shut up."

"You have no right to talk to me in that way, Sima Yi. Remember your position," Pi warned.

YOU'REMYONLYFRIEND8D

Sure enough, the prince of Wei thought of a plan ten times better than the strategist's. His plan was to.. well, I can't tell you now, can I?

"Xiahou Dun!" Cao Cao stomped through the hall towards his cousin.

"Yes, cousin?" Said man sighed, tired of all the events that had happened that day. He rubbed his temples in frustration as he saw his cousin's enraged look.

Cao Cao took a deep breath and gritted his teeth, "Dun, I heard from my son that you actually treated him _harshly_ in your room! Seriously, what happened to 'hospitality'? You go around telling people to be _nice_," he spat out the word as if it was made of venom, "but look at yourself! You're forcing people out of your room when they just want to talk!"

"Cao Cao, you better listen to me now. Your son & that strategist of yours certainly were _not_ granted permission to enter my room. When I came in, they were ransacking my room! Ransacking!" He hissed.

"But to kick them out of your room without giving them the chance to explain themselves.. You even slammed a door in his face a few days ago! That's low, Xiahou Dun. Especially for _you,_" Cao shook his head in distaste.

"Now you look here. I don't care who the heck contaminated your mind with all this rubbish. I'm thinking that son of yours-"

"Are you actually suspecting my son? How could you! I thought you treated him like family. Like your own son. I can't believe you!" he interrupted. Dun was taken aback. He had never been deprived of Mengde's trust. Upon hearing this, he mumbled a few profanities and stomped out of the room before his anger could bubble to the surface.

Cao Cao stared at the retreating figure before cursing and throwing a nearby vase on the floor in his fury. Nobody walks out on Cao Cao! Nobody! He was only defending his son. Dun should really be dropping that perfect-officer act soon; he's got to be wrong once in a while.

Yuanrang was angry. No, scratch that. He was _livid!_ Nobody accuses him and gets away with it. Nobody! He was only defending himself. Cao really should stop pointing fingers at everyone; not everyone is wrong all the time.

Cao Pi saw him walking towards the main hall. He knew his father was not in there as Dun normally knocks before entering. This time though, he barged in and slammed the doors shut. Figuring this was a good time to unleash his plan of doom, he followed the officer into the room, after quickly telling Sima Yi of Dun's whereabouts.

There, he saw Dun cursing under his breath while punching the wall. What the latter did not seem to notice, however, was that Xu Huang was standing idly against the wall watching him leash out his anger. It was only until he cleared his throat loudly that Dun stopped hurting the innocent wall. "May I ask just _what_ are you doing, Xiahou Dun?"

"I'm punching the wall, can't you see?" he hissed. Gongming sighed and tore himself from the wall. He walked calmly towards the raging officer and asked, "Then _why_ are you doing what you are doing?"

"I'm angry," Dun growled. As if that did not explain his punching the wall. He really should learn to control his anger. Xu Huang sighed once more, before trying to calm his friend down.

YOU'REMYONLYFRIEND8D

Cao Cao was stomping his way down the corridors. Whoever looked at him was snarled at and given the Cao Cao Death Glare of Doom. However, a certain strategist decided to risk his life to unleash his [spur-of-the-moment] plan. Walking up to the enraged lord, he cleared his throat before calmly asking, "Where are you headed off to, my lord?"

"Some place, can't you see? Or is your gigantic size of a fan blocking your sight?" Cao snapped. He was in no mood to talk right now. He was busy being angry! Why can't anyone see that!?

"You know, you should really punish that Xiahou Dun for treating your son & I harshly." That seemed to have worked as Cao Cao had stopped in his tracks to peer at the strategist behind him. "And what do you have in mind, -So-Smart?"

Sima Yi grinned maliciously. Quickening his pace to be beside his lord, he suggested, "Why not banish him, my lord? Your son had mentioned it once, no?" "Where have you heard that?" Lord Cao Cao asked, suspicious of his strategist. After all, that man can do anything.

"Oh, um.. it was a rumour going around, sir. You know how maids are always gossiping." _Thank god for my quick mind, _Yi thought.

"I don't know.. after all, he only did two things that upsets me. Just slamming the door in Cao Pi's face and kicking him out. However if he does one more thing I'll consider that."

"Oh really? You know, I have a good feeling that going into the great hall will solve all your problems.."

YOU'REMYONLYFRIEND8D

Just when things could not get any worse, the prince of Wei had to announce his arrival in the great hall. "Having problems, Xiahou Dun? Don't worry, Father's always more lenient on people like _you_," he sneered. He strode towards the (still) angry officer, his cape flowing gracefully behind him. "After all, it won't take long 'till he finally gets tired of you, and poof! Out you go. Banished. Exiled. 'Know what I mean?"

Cao Pi was getting a kick out of enraging the blind Xiahou further. "Now now, we wouldn't want to get angry again now, do we? Or Father might come in and see me dead on the floor, thus labeling you "The Blind Murderer Xiahou". That would be hilarious, huh?" Pi laughed, enjoying how Dun's face turned even redder with anger by the second.

Xu Huang noticed his friend getting more livid. He backed away to avoid being in his way. To be honest, he's never seen Dun so angry. But that might be because he's letting out his anger somewhere else, because one thing everyone should know is that Dun is irascible. Finally reaching the door, he fled the scene to find the one person who just might calm the officer down.

"What's wrong Xiahou Dun? Too chicken to answer me? Or have all that wall punching finally tired you out, so you decided to use your head instead?" Oh yes, Cao Pi was going to get it anytime now..

"OH SHUT UP! You think you're so smart? To tell you the truth, you're just _damn stupid!_ Tell me one time you've ever used that small brain of yours! I know it's you behind all this mess. I just wanted to know how far you'll go!" Dun snapped.

Instead of being taken abacked, Cao Pi looked unfazed by the outburst. In reality, he was trembling on the inside, but a Cao Family Rule is that Caos should _never _show fear. "Denial, denial. I've been using my 'small brain' all this while, haven't I? If not, I would never have gotten this far in planning your exile," Pi smirked.

"How dare you! What have I done to you all this while? Do you see me planning people's exiles? Unlike you, I actually have common sense!" Dun retorted. Both of them did not seem to notice Zhang Liao and Xiahou Yuan entering the great hall.

Cao Pi snapped, "You took away Father's love for me, that's what you did! All those nine years I _never_ got a chance to truly know what a father's love is! And do you know why? _Because you freaking have to get in the way!_" The angry prince seethed.

"Perhaps all those nine years wouldn't be wasted if you had just talked to him! You just sat in your room sulking and cursing; it's no wonder Cao Cao didn't talk to you! You had such an annoying attitude, it's a miracle people actually talk to you! Do you even have a brain?!"

"I may not have a brain but at least _I have two eyes!_" Big mistake. Nobody should ever insult his One Eye.

Xiahou Dun was so livid he stepped up to the raging prince and _striked _him across the face.

Unfortunately, he did that just when Cao Cao entered the room.

YOU'REMYONLYFRIEND8D

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO MY SON?!" Cao Cao burst out, running over to his son and checking his wound. "You _idiot_, why did you punch my son? How dare you do such a thing! I should have known not to trust you in the first place!"

Xiahou Dun look shocked at what he had just done. He stared at his hand in disbelief. Had he just _punched_ Cao Pi? Words could not describe the pain he felt when he saw the hurt in Cao Cao's eyes. His gaze hovered to the prince - he expected shock and hurt in those piercing eyes, but there was neither. There was only an evil gleam.

"Cao Cao, I-" Dun stuttered. He what? What could he say?

"I- I'm sorry, okay?" he mumbled. However, fate decided to be cruel to Xiahou Dun.

Cao Cao turned to face him directly in the eye. His eyes had a look of anger, hurt and desperation. He clenched his fists and said,

"Xiahou Dun. I hereby banish you from ever coming into Wei, ever again. You are now _exiled._"

With that, said man ran out of the room into the safety of his chambers.

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This time, Yuanrang did not burst into a rage. No, he simply sat on the bed and buried his face in his hands. He must have stayed that way for over half an hour because his hands soon began to feel numb.

"You alright there?" Zhang Liao had quietly entered his room. He sat on the bed and watched Xiahou Dun sigh deeply. Hearing no reply, Wenyuan tried again, "What are you going to do now?"

Dun stood up and went over to his bedside table. "I don't know what to do." And he knew perfectly why. Cao Cao's voice was still ringing inside his head.  
_**  
The day you don't know what to do is the day we fight.**_

YOU'REMYONLYFRIEND8D

Oh no, what's going to happen now? Where will Xiahou Dun go to?! Will he go to another kingdom - Wu or Shu? You decide, readers!

Seriously. You are going to decide. Vote now and get a free batch of cookies, straight from the oven of Aunt Ayumi.

I'm going to update even _slower_ than this in the next few weeks because of major exams. And the reason for this late update was.. writer's block. I seem to get it all the time. .3.


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